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WD-40 to Make Feminine Lubrication for Elderly “Most Difficult Cases”

WD-40's new campaign will target elderly women struggling with dryness.

WD-40’s new campaign will target elderly women struggling with dryness.

WD-40 Claims it “Cleans & Lubricates Any Pipe You’ve Got”

116 year old Ma-Huang will have "What's left of your lifetime supply"

116 year old Ma-Huang will have “What’s left of your lifetime supply”

Oldest Woman Alive Accepts WD-40 “What’s Left of Your Lifetime Supply” Award

“When I use WD-40, the rust comes out and I’m moist and ready to go,” Huang said.

After a few hundred humiliating encounters that left dried flakes on her partners, word was out about 116 year-old Ma-Huang’s dryness. Crowned with the nickname “Snowflake”, her reputation was preventing her from enjoying one of the few pleasures she had left.

“When you’re old, there’s not a lot to do. If your reputation is getting in the way of sex, you might as well be dead,” Ma-Huang said. “One of the nurses at my elderly care home told me that WD-40 had donated a case of their products for us to try. Just two squirts and years of matted, dried skin began falling out of me. Within minutes, all that stuff was gone and I was so wet you’d have to hold on or you’d slide right up to my throat,” Huang said. “I mean that…literally, my right cheeks are still swollen from the last well-endowed guy who lost his grip while he was jack-hammering me.”

“…you’d have to hold on or you’d slide right up to my throat,” Huang said. “I mean that…literally, my right cheeks are still swollen from the last well-endowed guy who lost his grip while he was jack-hammering me.”

WD-40: Your Pleasure is Our Pleasure

“When we think of our female senior citizens using our products so they can feel alive and human once again, we feel their pleasure,” a company spokeswoman said. “We hope it will help them do things faster…do things that are harder and Jesus Christ don’t stop…using it!”

“We hope it will help them do things faster…do things that are harder and Jesus Christ don’t stop…using it!”

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