Last Friday the federal government announced the gender pay gap hit 1.5%, the smallest pay difference between men and women since 1899, the year records started being kept.
This historic announcement came with surprisingly little fanfare, as the women’s advocacy groups that fought like hell to achieve that goal knew that their progress was likely to be unwound as men’s advocacy groups finally started fighting back.
“We’ve had about 120 years to fight to close the pay gap with no competition – at some point you’ve got to expect men to start pushing back. Women have known all along there is only so far we can go with this – and I think we’ve hit that threshold,” said Margaret Dutch, the president of Organization to Redistribute Gender Aligned Salaries on Merit (ORGASM).
“Finally, after 120 years, men have finally noticed the central role ORGASM has played in women’s lives and guess what…they don’t like it,” Ms. Dutch said. “Men are going to do everything in their power to make sure women don’t enjoy the benefits of ORGASM”.
“Men have finally noticed the central role ORGASM has played in women’s lives and guess what…they don’t like it.”
For over a century at least, men didn’t even know that ORGASM existed for women. But once men’s pay advantage began diminishing, they learned of women’s ORGASM and began keeping a watchful eye out. Now, following the recent announcement, there are signs that men’s groups are finally alarmed enough by women’s ORGASM and have begun fighting back.
Facebook ads celebrating the achievement of men throughout history could be seen just hours after the record-low pay gap was announced. Billboards with gender role declarations were erected by men also within hours. Reports estimating the number of men’s erections were around 5,000 nationally.
“Men think they can change people’s minds by showing them their erections,” Ms. Dutch commented about the billboards erected as a counter-strategy. “Who is going to look at one of those erections and think, ‘Yea, ORGASM is a bad thing for women, I am so glad that erection showed me the light?’ No one, that’s who men are so stupid.”