OSHA “Horrified” Workers Taking Bullets Without Ear Protection

By Des Stonedeux / February 21, 2018

Vests being tested with ear protection only worn by management.

OSHA was “shocked and horrified” to learn of quality control workers at bullet-proof vest manufacturers who were taking hundreds of bullets in a shift with nothing to protect their ears from the loud blast of the gunfire.

“We saw many pictures where management is wearing ear protection as they fire bullets into the vest of an employee with no ear protection,” said OSHA case worker KC Swenson. “The obliviousness of management for the basic safety requirements of their workers is appalling.”

New OSHA guidelines mandate earplugs for all bullet-proof test employees

Women Have Been Asking For Protection for Years

85% of Test Vest Workers are Women

Women comprise 85% of the testing market for bullet-proof vests, according to a government study from 2016. Female workers began calling OSHA in 2008 about safety concerns. In 2011, Mr. Swenson was assigned to the case, and “that’s really when things started happening for us,” said Camille Memorice, the head of Women for Equal Ear Protection.

OSHA found a disturbing pattern of male managers shooting female workers repeatedly with no protection.

“No protection, no shooting” – KC Swenson, OSHA

“Mr. Swenson would say, ‘No protection, no shooting’,” said one female worker who spent a lot of time with Swenson. Despite the 325 hours Mr. Swenson logged in meetings with workers between 2011 and 2018, he was unable to get earplugs approved, and the case remained open for seven years.

“Hey, you think it’s easy getting earplugs approved for these workers? You have no idea what I had to go through,” Mr. Swenson said when we called him to ask about why it took so seven years to close the case.

We reviewed the case log through a Freedom of Information Act request, and found literally thousands of hours logged with cryptic abbreviations. We did verify Mr. Swenson’s meetings with the women, most of which were after work or on weekends due to “workers being more available during social hours.”

OSHA: “Male Managers Repeatedly Shot Women With No Protection”

“I found a disturbing pattern of male managers shooting women over and over again with no protection,” Mr. Swenson said.
When we asked female workers about Mr. Swenson’s work with OSHA, despite knowing little English, all of them were said Mr. Swenson made sure they always used protection.

Management firing bullets into female worker with no protection

Management firing bullets into female worker with no protection

“You want to shoot at me, then protection yes,” said 31 year old worker Marieta Venuelo. “No more shoot no protect,” Ms. Venuelo said wagging a finger.

Black Man with Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome Ejaculates 12 Times During Rough Police Beating

Taxpayers to Cover Costly Dry-Cleaning Bill

Luther Kennedy after suffering 12 orgasms

Luther Kennedy after suffering 12 orgasms

Luther Kennedy, a 48 year old black man living in Corpus Christi, was diagnosed in 2011 with a rare condition known as Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (also known as PGAD or Weiss Disease), which results in uncontrollable and spontaneous ejaculations in men. Mr. Kennedy suffers as many as 100 orgasms per day.

Mr. Kennedy became another expense for taxpayers when he endured 12 orgasms while being beaten and choke-holded by police officers during a routine traffic stop yesterday, forcing officers to personally cover the cost of dry-cleaning their uniforms and burdening the department with figuring out how to reimburse for an expense not approved in the highly scrutinized and controversial city budget.

Officer showing uniform stains during press conference

Officer showing uniform stains during press conference

Unfortunately for Mr. Kennedy, the arresting officers were unfamiliar with PGAD. By the time Kennedy was handcuffed in the back seat of the patrol car, seven officers and their uniforms were laden with Kennedy’s ejaculate, according to the police report.

The ramifications of the incident were discussed at a press conference, in which Police Chief Ronnie Bertleson showed the stains on the uniforms.  Chief Bertleson said he feels “bad for Kennedy, but his face can heal, but the real victim here is once again the taxpayer.”  


Officers were forced to pay for the dry-cleaning for the one and only uniform issued

“…his face can heal…the real victim here is once again the taxpayer”

He then gave the media a close look at the stains while reminding voters that “when you vote to cut the police budget, this is what we’ll be wearing when you send us out to look for your teenage daughter who was supposed to be home in bed three hours ago,” Bertleson said.

Lottery Winner Inspires Others, “If I Can Beat the Odds, Anyone Can!”

"For the first time in my life I feel like a million bucks getting my picture taken" Chris Weir said.

“For the first time in my life I feel like a million bucks getting my picture taken” Chris Weir said.

She was just a farmer’s daughter with an 8th grade education. “Everyone told me I was going nowhere…look how wrong they were,” she said.

Chris Weir is one of the few of the rich and famous who decide to give back in a meaningful way.

“I know a lot of famous people who never look back to where they came from,” Powerball winner Chris Weir said, “They never think about their roots or try to help anyone come up. That’s not us,” she said.

You Don’t Need a “Fancy Education”

“You don’t need a fancy education and you don’t need to work hard,” Mrs. Weir told a standing-room-only audience at the Convention Center on Friday. “And never, ever let anyone tell you your odds of being successful are too low. I am here in person to tell you now that’s a lie, you CAN win, but you have to try to win,” she said to great applause.

Audience members at Friday's inspirational seminar.

Audience members at Friday’s inspirational seminar.

“I am so, so happy God brought Chris into my life,” said lottery enthusiast Shirley Benson, 61, of Dayton. “For 17 years now I’ve been asking God why I’m not winning them numbers. After hearing Chris share her secrets last night I know exactly what’s wrong with my game.” Shirley said.

Many audience members expressed the same jubilant sentiment, even very experienced lottery players with highly developed technique. One excited audience member was Joe Jackson, 71, of Gilroy. Mr. Jackson, who has been playing 23 years, is well known in the area for wall-papering his entire house with losing lottery tickets.

Shirley Benson, longtime lottery player.

Shirley Benson, longtime lottery player.

“Ask around these parts and you’ll see people know me, they know I play a serious game” Jackson said. “I got five out of six numbers twice, it took me 19 years of discipline to get to five. And Chris get all six in just 12 years because she’s got talent, she can play those numbers” Jackson said.

Chris Weir: Creative Lottery Genius

“Chris is a creative genius. She can use the six numbers from her license plate, an eight digit anniversary, her mother’s birthday and her area code all on a Play Eight card. That’s some talent. Rest of us be making stuff up like it’s an eye exam,” — Joe Jackson, advanced lottery player

Expert players often scoff at non-players who think the game is random and winnable by a novice.

“We’ve all heard those fools saying ‘anybody can win'” said Dr. Lawrence Savrey, a Lottery Professor at City College. “But if you look at the data, you’ll find that winners have been playing for years, honing their skills.”

Chris Weir thought she was going nowhere as a child.

Chris Weir thought she was going nowhere as a child.

Dr. Savrey devotes two weeks of a semester course to teaching students about Chris Weir’s style, and that, he says, is not even enough.

“You could spend months with a team of numbers guys and never crack Chris’ code” Dr. Savrey said. “I know, because I’ve tried.”

Academics and other experts speculate that Chris Weir uses a Base 13 harmonic numeric sequence that draws from special numbers, such as family birthdays, anniversaries, license plate numbers, and lucky numbers from childhood.

Dr. Lawrence Savrey, a Lottery Professor at City College, analyzing Chris Weir's game strategies with his advanced graduate students.

Dr. Lawrence Savrey, a Lottery Professor at City College, analyzing Chris Weir’s game strategies with his advanced graduate students.

“When you only have six or eight character spaces to play with, it takes a once in a lifetime talent to find a compression algorithm for all those meaningful numbers,” Gary Kellogg, Director of Game Strategies for the state of Florida, said. “And so most people just write the first thing that pops in their head, and you know what? They pay the price for that carelessness. Some people say the odds are terrible, when really it’s just people are too lazy to do the hard work.”

Women Fight For More Pay. Men Fight Back.

Men are angry and fighting back after their pay advantage hit the lowest since records were kept in 1899.

Last Friday the federal government announced the gender pay gap hit 1.5%, the smallest pay difference between men and women since 1899, the year records started being kept.

“We’ve been fighting for equal pay for about 120 years – at some point you’ve got to expect men to start pushing back. Women want what is theirs, even if it comes at a cost to men,” said Margaret Dutch, the president of Organization to Redistribute Gender Aligned Salaries on Merit (ORGASM).

Billboards and Facebook ads with disparaging messages about gender roles appeared within hours.

“Finally, after 120 years, men have finally noticed the central role ORGASM has played in women’s lives and guess what…they don’t like it,” Ms. Dutch said. “Men are going to do everything in their power to make sure women don’t enjoy the benefits of ORGASM”.

“Men have finally noticed the central role ORGASM has played in women’s lives and guess what…they don’t like it.”

“Coming at a Cost to Men”

For over a century at least, men didn’t even know that ORGASM existed for women. But once men’s pay advantage began diminishing, they learned of ORGASM and began keeping a watchful eye out. Now, following the recent announcement, ORGASM’s accomplishments for women have finally crossed an invisible line: ORGASM’s benefits to women are seen as “coming at a cost to men”, said Ms. Dutch.

Billboards Erected By Men in Protest; Volume & Rate of New Erections Cause Women Anxiety

Women Launch “Take Down Men’s (Big) Erections” Campaign

president of ORGASM

“I am so proud of what ORGASM means to women everywhere,” said Ms. Dutch, ORGASM’s president.

Facebook ads celebrating the achievement of men throughout history could be seen just hours after the record-low pay gap was announced. Billboards with gender role declarations were erected by men also within hours. Reports estimating the number of men’s erections were around 5,000 nationally.

But ORGASM had been planning for “round two”, responding by launching an ad campaign demanding the billboards (referred to creatively in ads as “men’s erections (the big and brainless ones)”) be taken down (comically suggesting men wouldn’t be able to keep them up very long anyway…you know, billboards are expensive).

“Men think they can change people’s minds by erecting these brainless symbols everywhere we look,” Ms. Dutch commented about the billboards erected as a counter-strategy. “The next election is going to be, in a very big way, about these erections. I call it the ‘erection direction election’ because at the end of the day, ORGASM will either be here for women or gone for men.”

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