No Survivors After Gay Cruise Ship Makes Hysterical & Incoherent Mayday Distress Call

By Des Stonedeux / September 7, 2016
Gay cruise ship being pulled from ocean floor

Gay cruise ship being pulled from ocean floor

Officials are investigating why a professional cruise ship crew, and in particular the captain, was unable to remain calm and execute an emergency procedure as the boat sank Saturday morning, leaving no survivors. Officials describe the mayday call as “hysterical and incoherent”, and suspect this behavior had something to do with why the boat sank.

“These commercial cruises are operated by professional crews that practice emergency procedures regularly so that they can do them in any adverse environment” a spokesman from the Coast Guard said, “We may never know what caused the captain to lose his composure and cry, scream, and wail on the emergency channel.”

Sailors on gay cruise ship

Professional & Experienced Crew’s Failure to Calmly Execute Emergency Procedures Baffles Experts

We may never know what caused the captain to lose his composure and cry, scream, and wail on the emergency channel

The recording of the call may have other clues, and officials are using software to analyze the other sounds in the background. “It’s quite a challenge sifting through all the chaos on that recording,” said Mark Levine, the sound engineer contracted for the project. “Everything is basically drowned out by ‘Dancing Queen’, which sounds as if it was being played through the ship’s internal broadcast, which I think is against the rules.”

Remembering all the sea men lost.

The internal broadcast is reserved for official ship announcements for safety reasons, which, if ‘Dancing Queen’ was being played, would explain why emergency procedure instructions were not communicated to passengers.

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated,” said one official, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “Some of these gay cruise ships actually give emergency sing/song instructions using ABBA music. It’s the only way they can get the attention of 150 partying gay men. It might sound odd, but you try to find a better way.”

Some of these gay cruise ships actually give emergency sing/song instructions using ABBA music. It’s the only way they can get the attention of 150 partying gay men. It might sound odd, but you try to find a better way.

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